An open letter to the rest of the world

Dear fellow residents of the world,

On behalf of all of us Americans who will vote for John Kerry--or the Libertarian party candidate, or Nader, or even the guy who's running on the Prohibition party ticket--please know that we are as chagrined at the possibility of four more years under the Bush regime as you are.

Know that if things go horribly awry this coming Tuesday and somehow a majority of the voting American populace gets suddenly struck dumb and votes for Dubya, we will be holding our heads in our hands and cursing repeatedly, just like you.

Know that, should Bush and Co. somehow find their way back into the White House, we have only the solace of knowing that we did what we could to fight against the fear-mongering and regulated intolerance and utter hatred of the poor that are the hallmarks of Bush's campaign. We tried. Boy did we try.

Finally, if we should find ourselves once again relegated to four years of hell, many of us may try to show up at your nations' doorsteps, desperate for the measures of civility your countries offer that ours no longer seems to. Should you hear us knocking, please consider, strongly consider, letting us in. You could be our salvation.

Here's hoping that our fellow countryfolks will come to see, if they haven't already, that whatever his flaws, Kerry is the far better candidate (unless you happen to be a billionaire, an oilman, or a defense contractor). Here's hoping our worrying comes to naught. Here's hoping next January will see a new and better man at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But please remember that if all of these hopes are dashed, we're not all to blame, and we'll need your understanding, forgiveness, and open arms more than ever.

Yours truly,
All the Americans Hoping for Reprieve